In the past I used to feel guilty for not being able to make it to the masjid for tarawih prayer every night, or not being able to read as much Quran, or pray as many rakat as I'd like. But I've come to accept the small sacrifices I must make in my time, and in the things I want to do, to care for the little girls Allah has blessed me with. I know there are seasons for everything, and that Allah rewards for our intentions. For me, getting the kids in bed by 8 or 9pm and having the rest of the night for breaking fast, prayer, and reading at home is much more fruitful than going at the masjid late, where I am unable to accomplish anything with cranky tired babies. I am trying my best to include my little ones into everything I do this Ramadan; reading Quran, memorizing surahs, and increasing knowledge.
One of my personal goals this Ramadan was to work on not getting upset with my children over small things, and to show mercy. I recently told my eldest, that she could tell me anything. She took me up on my offer and has confided in me things she thought I would be angry about. It is amazing the trust that is built once we as parents learn how to
Speaking of my eldest, she has fasted a few of her first full days of fasting this year, a whopping 17+ hours, mashaAllah. The best part about this summer is it has been nice and cool, Alhumdulillah, so the long days aren't so bad. This is also my first year successfully fasting while nursing. I just couldn't bear to miss another year of fasting during Ramadan after having my last two children back to back. Not to mention all the days I have accumulated that need to be made up. :)
As we enter the last 10 nights, I pray that Allah rewards you for all your efforts and that you be of those to find Laylatul Qadr, Ameen.